Funny Shit For The Day

10 Dumb Ideas that Made A Lot of Money

People will buy anything, no matter how dumb. Pet rocks and singing fish sold out of the store and while no one will admit to owning one, someone has to be buying it.

Check out a bunch of dumb ideas that made a lot of money. Maybe they’re not so dumb after all…

Click here for the story.

Get Your Wastefest '08 T-Shirts Here!

Well due to popular demand I have put together a new T-Shirt for Wastefest '08 - The Ten Year Reunion - Where Are They Now? I made it very basic to keep down the cost but left the option for customization so you can add your name or change the color or whatever. Zazzle automatically creates a 10% increase that gets paid out to me but I plan on using whatever money (prob won't be much) to buy booze for the party. The details of the party are still being sorted out but until then...grab yourself a T-Shirt and watch the countdown continue!

Check Em Out!

The Story on Schlitz (Or Why Do We Think It Sucks)

HOW DO WE COMPETE WITH BUDWEISER?

Executive: Robert Uihlein, Jr., head of the Schlitz Brewing Company in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Background: in the 1970s, Schlitz was America’s #2 beer, behind Budweiser. It had been #1 until 1957 and has pursued Bud ever since. In the 1970s, Uihlein came up with a strategy to compete against Anheuser-Busch. He figured that if he could cut the cost of ingredients used in his beer and speed up the brewing process at the same time, he could brew more beer in the same amount of time for less money … and earn higher profits.

Decision: Uihlein cut the amount of time it took to brew Schlitz from 40 days to 15, and replaced much of the barley malt in the beer with corn syrup - which was cheaper. He also switched from one type of foam stabilizer to another to get around new labeling laws that would have required the original stabilizer to be disclosed on the label.

Impact: Uihlein got what he wanted: a cheaper, more profitable beer that made a lot of money … at first. But it tasted terrible, and tended to break down so quickly as the cheap ingredients bonded together and sank to the bottom of the can - forming a substance that "looked disconcertingly like mucus." Philip Van Munchings writes in Beer Blast:

Suddenly Schlitz found itself shipping out a great deal of apparently snot-ridden beer. The brewery knew about it pretty quickly and made a command decision - to do nothing … Uihlein declined a costly recall for months, wagering that not much of the beer would be subjected to the kinds of temperatures at which most haze forms. He lost the bet, sales plummeted … and Schlitz began a long steady slide from the top three.

Schlitz finally caved in and recalled 10 million cans of the snot beer. But their reputation was ruined and sales never recovered. In 1981, they shut down their Milwaukee brewing plant; the following year the company was purchased by rival Stroh’s. One former mayor of Milwaukee compared the brewery’s fortunes to the sinking of the Titanic, asking "How could that big of a business go under so fast?"

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Long Time No Update

Hello all. As you noticed this site has been pretty sparce as it goes on updates. Well I've been busy allright? I'll try to keep putting stuff up here so you keep checking back but no promises.

Just a couple of quick things though. First the 10th Anniversary of Wastefest will be held on July 19th at my homestead. Details are being sorted out...more to come. A T-Shirt is being designed by popular request. Hopefully I'll have that up soon. Proceeds will benefit buying booze for the party.

Quick update on my marathons incase you were wondering. Took care of Richmond and Jacksonville with times of 3:55 and 3:54 respectively. Hoping for a better finish in Florida but it was warmer than expected. Doing the Hatfield McCoy marathon in West Virginia in June and have a few more in the fall that I am sorting out.

Beer Bottle Open is in a couple weeks. You should run it. Party at my brothers afterwards.

Scheduled
June 14th, 2008 - Williamson, WV

Completed
February 17th, 2008 (3:54:54) - Jacksonville, FL
November 3rd, 2007 (3:55:40) - Richmond, VA

Tracy Morgan in Blackass - Funny Stuff

50 States + DC Started

Scheduled
November 3rd - Richmond, VA
February 17th - Jacksonville, FL

click to enlarge

Any Second Now...

Sadly poignant

Congress already has run out of space on a memorial created last year to honor all of the U.S. service members killed in Iraq and Afghanistan.

In a grim sign of the times, the "Wall of the Fallen," set up by House Republican leaders in June, is almost full. The mounting death toll from Iraq has forced U.S. House staffers to study how to reconfigure the display in the lobby of the Rayburn Building - the largest office building for members of Congress - to squeeze in more names.

According to the Defense Department, 3,736 U.S. service members died in the two wars by the end of April. New names are added to the display every few months, but none have been added since November. The last name listed is Lance Cpl. Luke Holler, 21-year-old Marine reservist from Bulverde, Texas, killed by an explosive device on Nov. 2.

In the current format, there is space for about 130 more names, but 506 Americans have died since mid-November. In April, 104 Americans were killed in the war's sixth-deadliest month.

Consult This Before Dating

Ever wonder what relation someone is to you?

Turn Around Stine Eyes

What what what?

Best Condom Ad Ever

One Island == One Home

Check this shit out...
http://archibase.net/archinews/14050.html

3 Easy Steps To Become An Artist

Happy Birthday Beth Schroeder!

On January 21st that is. She is having some festivities for the honor on Saturday so get in touch with her for the details.

By the way Beth....you're how old??

Haha. In honor of your special day...I give you....The Happy Dance!

90's Flowchart

What Does 70 Million People Look Like From Space?

World's Awesomest Tattoos

Click before you ink.

Nerd Jokes

Descartes walks into a bar and orders champagne, explaining that he is celebrating a major philosophical breakthrough. The bartender gives him his drink. Descartes downs it all in one gulp.
The bartender, trying not to look surprised, asks, "Would you like another?"
Descartes says, "I think not."
And he disappears!

----

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, known as "squawks," submitted by QUANTAS pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

----

A civil engineer, a chemist, and a mechanical engineer are at a party. Somehow, the topic of religion comes up. "God must be a mechanical engineer," says the ME, "look at the thought and artistry that is a skeletal system. All those moving parts, working togeather in unison... it's a thing of beauty." The chemist replies, "No, no, you have it all wrong. Everything in life can be reduced to chemical reactions. Only a chemist could have created all that there is by using such complex sets of reactions." The civil engineer just laughs and says, "You're both full of it. Of course God is a civil engineer: who else would run a waste disposal system through a recreation area?"

----

A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are sitting outside. They see two people walk into a house; a few minutes later, three walk out.

"Our initial count must not have been accurate", the physicist says.

"No, it's simple! They must have reproduced," says the biologist.

But the mathematician says, "Now, if exactly one person walks into the house, it will be empty again."

----

An engineer, a mathematician, and a statistician are out hunting birds. One flies up out of the brush, and the engineer fires. Unfortunately, he was about a foot too low. The three keep walking, and soon run across another bird. The mathematician fires, but is about a foot above. The statistician pumps his fist into the air and says, "All right! We got it!"

----

A doctor, priest and engineer are playing golf one day. All goes well until they reach the ninth hole and they get stuck behind these really weird guys, looking completely lost, hitting the balls all over the place and just taking forever... Not wanted to cause a scene (gotta maintain golf course etiquette) the three instead go to the greens manager and ask him about the weird group.
Greens Manager: "That is a tragic story... those three are firemen and during a big fire here at the clubhouse one day they saved us all and the building, but unfortunately they lost their sight in the process so now they are heroes here and we let them play for free"
Priest: "That is a touching story. I shall pray to God tonight and hope that he might do something to ease their pain."
Doctor: "I too have been touched by that story... Me and my colleagues will focus our research on helping the blind."
Engineer: "Why can't they play at night?"

----

a physicist, a chemist and a statisician all are in a room, sudenly, a fire starts

the physcist goes: quick, remove the heat

the chemist goes: no, remove the oxygen

and the statsician starts running around madly starting fires

the other scream: what are you doing

and he replies: getting a decent sample size

----

Well, thats the thing about Binary humour.
Its either funny or its not.

----

An engineering student is studying in the quad of his college campus when a fellow engineering student rides up to him on what looks to be a new bicycle.

The first engineer asks, "Where did you get that spiffy bicycle?"

The second replied, "It's a funny story, actually. I was walking to class this morning when this beautiful woman rode up next to me on this very bicycle, jumped off, tore off all of her clothes and shouted 'Take what you want!'"

The first engineer pondered for a moment and said, "That was a good choice, you wouldn't have fit into her clothes anyway."

----

Silver and Iron were in a bar. Gold walks in, and iron say "eh you, get outta here!"

----

Now Here's An X-Mas Present I Can Get Excited About

I just wonder how much it will cost.

Merry Christmas / Happy New Year

Yea and that stuff. I'm getting lazy, here enjoy this last Christmas present:


Now bugger off.

Where Do Simpson's Names Come From?

Find out here.

Points 4 Anyone

Who can tell me what movie this picture is in reference to?

Can someone tell me?

Why the song "Goodbye Horses" is in my head whenever I apply chapstick?