Might have to see this one...
Tuesday, May 20
Grandfather Paradox
Time travel is impossible as exemplified by the famous grandfather paradox. Imagine you build a time machine. It is possible for you to travel back in time, meet your grandfather before he produces any children (i.e. your father/mother) and kill him. Thus, you would not have been born and the time machine would not have been built, a paradox.
Perhaps the craziest of the time travel paradoxes was cooked up by Robert Heinlein in his classic short story "All You Zombies."
A baby girl is mysteriously dropped off at an orphanage in Cleveland in 1945. "Jane" grows up lonely and dejected, not knowing who her parents are, until one day in 1963 she is strangely attracted to a drifter. She falls in love with him. But just when things are finally looking up for Jane, a series of disasters strike. First, she becomes pregnant by the drifter, who then disappears. Second, during the complicated delivery, doctors find that Jane has both sets of sex organs, and to save her life, they are forced to surgically convert "her" to a "him." Finally, a mysterious stranger kidnaps her baby from the delivery room.
Reeling from these disasters, rejected by society, scorned by fate, "he" becomes a drunkard and drifter. Not only has Jane lost her parents and her lover, but he has lost his only child as well. Years later, in 1970, he stumbles into a lonely bar, called Pop's Place, and spills out his pathetic story to an elderly bartender. The sympathetic bartender offers the drifter the chance to avenge the stranger who left her pregnant and abandoned, on the condition that he join the "time travelers corps." Both of them enter a time machine, and the bartender drops off the drifter in 1963. The drifter is strangely attracted to a young orphan woman, who subsequently becomes pregnant.
The bartender then goes forward 9 months, kidnaps the baby girl from the hospital, and drops off the baby in an orphanage back in 1945. Then the bartender drops off the thoroughly confused drifter in 1985, to enlist in the time travelers corps. The drifter eventually gets his life together, becomes a respected and elderly member of the time travelers corps, and then disguises himself as a bartender and has his most difficult mission: a date with destiny, meeting a certain drifter at Pop's Place in 1970.
The question is: Who is Jane's mother, father, grandfather, grand mother, son, daughter, granddaughter, and grandson? The girl, the drifter, and the bartender, of course, are all the same person. These paradoxes can made your head spin, especially if you try to untangle Jane's twisted parentage. If we drawJane's family tree, we find that all the branches are curled inward back on themselves, as in a circle. We come to the astonishing conclusion that she is her own mother and father! She is an entire family tree unto herself.
Perhaps the craziest of the time travel paradoxes was cooked up by Robert Heinlein in his classic short story "All You Zombies."
A baby girl is mysteriously dropped off at an orphanage in Cleveland in 1945. "Jane" grows up lonely and dejected, not knowing who her parents are, until one day in 1963 she is strangely attracted to a drifter. She falls in love with him. But just when things are finally looking up for Jane, a series of disasters strike. First, she becomes pregnant by the drifter, who then disappears. Second, during the complicated delivery, doctors find that Jane has both sets of sex organs, and to save her life, they are forced to surgically convert "her" to a "him." Finally, a mysterious stranger kidnaps her baby from the delivery room.
Reeling from these disasters, rejected by society, scorned by fate, "he" becomes a drunkard and drifter. Not only has Jane lost her parents and her lover, but he has lost his only child as well. Years later, in 1970, he stumbles into a lonely bar, called Pop's Place, and spills out his pathetic story to an elderly bartender. The sympathetic bartender offers the drifter the chance to avenge the stranger who left her pregnant and abandoned, on the condition that he join the "time travelers corps." Both of them enter a time machine, and the bartender drops off the drifter in 1963. The drifter is strangely attracted to a young orphan woman, who subsequently becomes pregnant.
The bartender then goes forward 9 months, kidnaps the baby girl from the hospital, and drops off the baby in an orphanage back in 1945. Then the bartender drops off the thoroughly confused drifter in 1985, to enlist in the time travelers corps. The drifter eventually gets his life together, becomes a respected and elderly member of the time travelers corps, and then disguises himself as a bartender and has his most difficult mission: a date with destiny, meeting a certain drifter at Pop's Place in 1970.
The question is: Who is Jane's mother, father, grandfather, grand mother, son, daughter, granddaughter, and grandson? The girl, the drifter, and the bartender, of course, are all the same person. These paradoxes can made your head spin, especially if you try to untangle Jane's twisted parentage. If we drawJane's family tree, we find that all the branches are curled inward back on themselves, as in a circle. We come to the astonishing conclusion that she is her own mother and father! She is an entire family tree unto herself.
Monday, May 19
Friday, May 16
Sex scenes, bloody action & intellectual prowess: The 64 Manliest Movies To Date
Pretty good list. Some I haven't seen yet but any glaring mistakes or ones that shouldn't be on there?
Thursday, May 15
Wednesday, May 14
Drunk Joke
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
Monday, May 12
Crew On Fire
Columbus Crew player Robbie Roger's birthday was Sunday (he turned 21). He celebrated Saturday night in San Jose where he scored 2 goals in the Crew's 3-2 victory. The Crew are now 6-1 and are top in the league.
Meanwhile Hoss turned 21 on Saturday and got shitfaced at the Little Bar.
Friday, May 9
Wednesday, May 7
Sub Prime Primer
Don't understand all this subprime mess going on? Here's a great explanation on the subprime cluster. Just keep clicking on the pictures. It's pretty funny too.
Tuesday, May 6
A Gas Tax Holliday is "the economic equivalent of solving the obesity problem by making Twinkies, ho-hos, and deep-fried mars bars tax deductible"
Please people do not be fooled by the gas tax holiday the politicians are promoting.
A Federal Gas Tax Holiday is bunk. Worse than bunk, it's counter productive -- the economic equivalent of solving the obesity problem by making Twinkies, ho-hos, and deep-fried mars bars tax deductible. Some people might call that populism, but pandering is closer to the mark.
Consider the following: The federal government figures that the average American drives 15,000 miles,1 or about two thirds of the way around the circumference of the Earth, every year.2 Put another way that's about 41 miles a day: about a gallon and a half of gas by most sane standards. The federal tax on that gallon and a half is a whopping twenty-seven cents.3
Twenty-seven cents. Try not to spend it all in one place.
Monday, May 5
Friday, May 2
Thursday, May 1
Wednesday, April 30
Tuesday, April 29
Reason #189 Why Metallica Still Sucks
As if we need another reason:
Eight years ago, when Metallica became the poster band for the clash between the record industry and its fans, the whole thing started when drummer Lars Ulrich personally delivered a massive printout of the names of people who had been sharing Metallica songs on Napster to the company's headquarters.But with only one record left on its Warner Music Group contract, the Ulrich says Metallica could be planning a digital release along the lines of what Radiohead and Nine Inch Nails have done, as ironic as that might seem.
Quick Joke
A bank robber walks in a bank, gets in line and when it is his
turn he pulls out a gun and robs the bank!
Just to make sure he leaves no witnesses, he turns
around and asks the next customer in line,
"Did you see me rob this bank?"
The customer replies, "Yes!"
The bank robber raises his gun, points it to the
customer's head and BANG !!!, shoots him in the
head and kills him!
He quickly moves to the next customer in line
and says to the man,"Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man calmly responds ..."No, but my wife did!"
turn he pulls out a gun and robs the bank!
Just to make sure he leaves no witnesses, he turns
around and asks the next customer in line,
"Did you see me rob this bank?"
The customer replies, "Yes!"
The bank robber raises his gun, points it to the
customer's head and BANG !!!, shoots him in the
head and kills him!
He quickly moves to the next customer in line
and says to the man,"Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man calmly responds ..."No, but my wife did!"
Monday, April 28
Corner Crew
With a 1 - 0 win last Saturday the Crew are looking to be on top of the league. These last few games have been a real treat to watch with some quality play from Schelotto, Moreno, Rogers and Padula. Here's a good shot from Saturday's game of the Crew fans making a Dynamo player feel more at home taking his corner kick.
Greg Bartram/Contributor
Friday, April 25
Thursday, April 24
New Poll
Take a quick look to your right (on the screen) and you'll see the new poll. Make sure your voice is heard for what you want at Wastefest.
Crew = Massive
(AP Photo/Eduardo Di Baia)AP picture from last night. Some Argentina soccer fans celebrating a win. Why is this here? Take a look at one kid's jersey. Yup that's a Crew jersey thousands of miles away from Ohio. Massive.
Wednesday, April 23
How Dude Are You?
Here is a small excerpt from "I'm a Lebowski, You're a Lebowski Life, The Big Lebowski, and What Have You" By Bill Green Ben Peskoe Will Russell Scott Shuffitt.
So just how Dude are you, anyway? Get out your number-two pencils and answer the following questions to discover how in touch you are with your Inner Dude. Report back as soon as it's done.
1. Are you employed, sir?
A) Yes
B) No
C) What day is this?
2. Do you have any Kahlua?
A) No, but I do have some watermelon schnapps
B) No, I'm fresh out
C) Does the pope shit in the woods?
3. What's your favorite Eagles album?
A) Desperado
B) Ride the Lightning
C) I hate the fucking Eagles
4. What do you do in your free time?
A) Balance my checkbook
B) Occupy various administration buildings
C) Bowl, drive around, the occasional acid flashback
5. What is the smallest check you've ever written?
A) $100 and up
B) $ 0.70 to $99.99
C) $ 0.69 and under
6. Identify this small woodland mammal (picture of a ferret)
A) Beaver
B) Ferret
C) Marmot
7. What cassette is in your Walkman right now?
A) I have an iPod
B) Creedence
C) Venice Beach League Playoffs 1987/Bob
8. What is your primary form of ID?
A) Driver's license
B) Expired student ID
C) Ralphs card
9. What color is your vehicle?
A) My Hummer is yellow
B) Blue
C) Green with rust coloration
10. When do you pay your rent?
A) When you own, it's called a mortgage
B) The tenth
C) Far out, man
Tally up your score:
For each A) answer, you get 0 points.
For each B) answer, give yourself 21 points.
For each C) answer, give yourself 42 points.
How Dude are you:
0-105 = You're being very un-Dude
106-210 = You are the walrus
211-419 = I dig your style, man
420 = You abide
So how'd you do? Now that you have a feel for your level of Dudeness, here are some tips for Dude-ifying your everyday life.
So just how Dude are you, anyway? Get out your number-two pencils and answer the following questions to discover how in touch you are with your Inner Dude. Report back as soon as it's done.
1. Are you employed, sir?
A) Yes
B) No
C) What day is this?
2. Do you have any Kahlua?
A) No, but I do have some watermelon schnapps
B) No, I'm fresh out
C) Does the pope shit in the woods?
3. What's your favorite Eagles album?
A) Desperado
B) Ride the Lightning
C) I hate the fucking Eagles
4. What do you do in your free time?
A) Balance my checkbook
B) Occupy various administration buildings
C) Bowl, drive around, the occasional acid flashback
5. What is the smallest check you've ever written?
A) $100 and up
B) $ 0.70 to $99.99
C) $ 0.69 and under
6. Identify this small woodland mammal (picture of a ferret)
A) Beaver
B) Ferret
C) Marmot
7. What cassette is in your Walkman right now?
A) I have an iPod
B) Creedence
C) Venice Beach League Playoffs 1987/Bob
8. What is your primary form of ID?
A) Driver's license
B) Expired student ID
C) Ralphs card
9. What color is your vehicle?
A) My Hummer is yellow
B) Blue
C) Green with rust coloration
10. When do you pay your rent?
A) When you own, it's called a mortgage
B) The tenth
C) Far out, man
Tally up your score:
For each A) answer, you get 0 points.
For each B) answer, give yourself 21 points.
For each C) answer, give yourself 42 points.
How Dude are you:
0-105 = You're being very un-Dude
106-210 = You are the walrus
211-419 = I dig your style, man
420 = You abide
So how'd you do? Now that you have a feel for your level of Dudeness, here are some tips for Dude-ifying your everyday life.
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