Tuesday, October 31

6 Word Stories

Yea you heard me right. Stories that are 6 words long. Kinda supposed to use that imagination for the rest. Some of these are pretty good to read. Last one if my favorite.

Is Anyone Going To Buy This?


Maybe I should put this on the list.


In the spirit of All Hallo's Eve, here is something really spooky, what would happen if humanity ended today (ohhh spooky):

2 More Items To Complain About During BBQ Night

This one is easy...

* Sears catalog during the year 2000 or older

and a fun one that any respectable drinker could get...

* A Natural Light, Busch Light, and Bud Light can with the born on date 10/23

Weekend Roundup 10/27

Good morning web denizens. Whether you are stopping by for the first time or just checking in to see (and whine) what is the item of the day, please be aware that a few minor changes are in store in the next few days for the site. In the spirit of my weekend, I plan on doing a little "house" cleaning around here and throw out some of the unused parts. So you pretty much know the extent of the this weekend roundup.

However on Friday I did take part in the Dead Celebrity 5K run in Westerville. It was raining and windy so the conditions were not optimal. It was a costume race so there were many people dressed up like Dead Celebrities (duh) like Steve Irwin, the Braveheart guy, famous runner guy Steve Prefontaine and the Wright Brothers with life size plane (they won the costume contest). It was a fun race but the weather could have been better. Given the crappy weather, soaked from head to toe, and my shoe lace coming untied halfway through, I still PR'd the race with a time of 21:29 and a 21st place out of 320. No races in the future but always looking...

Friday, October 27

Look at this 'quipment

Mess some junk up with this bad boy.

Fun Game Friday

Take a shot at this game. It's in French but pretty easy to figure out. How long can you keep it up?

Thursday, October 26

Item 9 of the "It's Too Hard and I'm a Crybaby" Contest

* 3 Postcards or letters postmarked from countries on different continents (excluding USA)

I mean c'mon we all pen pals in grade school from other countries and I 'm sure someone's Aunt or Grandma went somewhere. Hell, Dawn & Fry prob. sent some post cards out during their honeymoon.

Weekend Roundup 10/20

Well we are a few days behind on this one but better late than never, right? So last week was a long way ago but here's a quick wrap up. Friday night we had complimentary tickets to the Blue Jackets game against Toronto. Had a good time but unfortunately the home team disappointed. More Blue Jackets updates to come...

Saturday was witness to the first ever World's Fastest Ellerbrock 5K. Your's truly set the course record even after getting lost for about a minute or so. Nobody beat me to win the 6 pack of pounders challenge. Next up is the Dead Celebrity 5K in Westerville this Friday. See ya there (prob. not).

Fun Pic O The Day

Wednesday, October 25

How The Rich Stay Rich

Just read this all the way through and just TRY not to be mad at the end.

Tuesday, October 24

My Birthday Plus 2 Items

Kinda busy here today and trying to catch up. Yesterday was my birthday and who blogs on their birthday? Your weekend roundup will come later, but first here are two items that you can complain about how hard they are and not get...

* A hospital wristband from 4 different hospitals (Ambulatory care counts the same as the main hospital)

* 1 Issue of Playboy from each decade since it was first published

Friday, October 20

Ed Needs These Things! Item 6


* Currency from foreign countries on 4 of the 7 continents (excluding Canada and Mexico)

Friday Musings

Take a look of some of this crazy shit over here.

Cure for Cancer?

Cool picture of the Port of Lisbon:

Thursday, October 19

The Best Essay Ever

What does Oedipus, Dr. Dre, and The Yankees have in common? This real essay that was actually turned in to a college professor. WARNING - Do not drink milk while reading this because it will shoot out your nose and ruin your keyboard. Your company's IT department thanks you.

Wednesday, October 18


Unless you have been hiding under a rock the past week you probably have heard that the OSU game will be shown on ESPNU and not on a widely accessible station. I'm not going to get into the politics as to why this is happening but will only state that my brother gets ESPNU and I will be watching the game before the big race. Feel free to drop by and watch if you are in the area. Stay for the race and chili.

Ed Needs These Things! Item 5

HINT: Phillips used to make these bad boys and gave discounts out to their employees. Now if only there was a Phillips factory around during that time...

BTW - laser discs were made all the way up to the year 2000. Fun fact.

Fox Force Five (movie reference...guess it).

* 1 Laser Disc of any Star Wars movie (not DVD)

Questions? Leave a comment.

South Park Joke or Reality?

According to this post, it's reality. An inside look at the pros/cons of being a World of Warcraft obsessed nerd. Literally reads like the South Park episode.

Tuesday, October 17

Calling You Out

Yea that's right bitches, it's put up or shut up time. This weekend anyone that can beat me in the World's Fastest Ellerbrock 5K will receive a 6 pack of Bud Light pounders. All participants will be treated to the chili cookoff that is happening there.

Where: My brothers (ask me if you need directions)
When: Saturday Oct 21st 3:00 PM shotgun start

Plenty of food will be available and showers for the runners if needed afterwards. There is a chili cookoff so if you want to participate, bring your stuff, there is plenty of space for fires I guess. Festivities will run on throughout the night and all are welcome anytime.

Vote for Me

Vote for Issue 420 or we start killing these kittens by subjecting them to endless negative campaign ads.


Yea, you might be able to create stuff outta beer tabs, but what about shopping carts?

Working From Home?

The topic of working from home comes up a lot when I discuss my job. A lot of people ask if I work from home, and when I start going down the road why that isn't necessarily possible they start to question why not. Yes, I would love the opportunity to work from home but these people who have beg to differ. Their stories appear to have a pattern, it's great for a few weeks but really starts taking it's toll on me.

I agree that with technology I could do about 85% of my daily activities off site via a secure connection. My last job provided me with a laptop to do just that but still required me to come in everyday. There was a time here at work where working from home was the lateset thing and the company offered it to employees who could manage it. However over the past 3 years it has been phased out and no one is allowed to solely stay offsite.

The main reason? People need to see you and you need to see people. You need people to be available and you need people that are reliable. Believe me, I work with a project that has a lot of different groups of people involved and when someone is out of the office or even takes a long lunch, production grinds to a halt. People get frustrated and eventually deadlines are missed. Even at my last position which didn't involve as many people, work still did not get done as well when someone wasn't there. I am not talking about scheduled leave either. I'm talking about when people came in late, left early, or took long lunches. Mainly not keeping normal work hours. Which is the primary reason why someone wants to work at home, to work when they want to.

Unfortunately that is the bottom line, the company is paying you to work when they want you to and expect you to be available. Until you have enough money to run your own company or you work for someone where you are the sole employee in your area then you pretty much are stuck. The idea to work from home was a nice fad in the 90's but has run it's course and been exposed.

Monday, October 16

Become Rich Like Mr. Derr in 7 Easy Steps

No you do not have to become someone's sex slave and dishonor your grandma. Follow these steps and just add water! Look how happy grandma is now!

Ed Needs These Things! Item 4

Four. Four?

Okay this one should be easy.

* Airline ticket to a non-American destination

Questions? Leave a comment.

Weekend Roundup 10/13

Welcome Guys and Ghouls,

Hopefully no one died in a haunted house or a summer camp or something on Friday the 13th. We attended one of those rare weddings on a Friday and even rarer Friday the 13th wedding. It definitely threw me off as I kept competing with myself with the thoughts of "It's Friday but I am at a wedding" with "I'm at a wedding but it's Friday". But one nice thing about a Friday wedding I found out is cash bar till 9:30. Everyone get married on Friday!

Saturday was Fry's "shooting" party which I renamed "Blow Shit UP and Watch Francis Knievel Ramp His POS Truck Over Varying Heights of Dirt." There might be pictures of the event over at Fry's website sometime soon.

One thing I want to address quickly is that a few people have voiced concern that the current contest might be too tough. I have made a poll question up to gauge what people are thinking and go from there. Vote it or smoke it (the pole that is).

Friday, October 13

Ed Needs These Things! Item 3

It's the magic number!

* Picture of you and 2 other people doing seperate keg stands simultaneously (3 keg stands at once)

Helpful Hint: I heard Keg Races 2006 is coming up soon.

Questions? Leave a comment.

Wednesday, October 11

Ed Needs These Things! Item 2

Hello, I'm number 2:

* A 8-Track Tape from any album released in 1980

Questions? Leave a comment.

Tuesday, October 10

Election 2006

Okay, I have decided. I am officially announcing how I will vote during the 2006 elections. My policy is wherever there is not a Libertarian candidate or issue on the ballot to vote for, I will vote for whoever had the funniest campaign commercials, regardless of party affliation.

So far I am voting for whoever is opposing Mike DeWine, Shaminsky, and whoever runs the fat guy teaching aerobics class.

Monday, October 9

Ed Needs These Things! Item 1

Here is your first item:

A set of coins from 2001 (penny, nickel, dime, quarter, half dollar, Sacagawea)

Questions? Leave a comment.

Weekend Roundup 10/6

Heeeeeeeeey yoooooooou guuuuuuuuuuuuys.

Welcome back to Monday, or as I like to call it, Satan's birthday. Another successful weekend in the books. Good time down on campus, glad Stine could make it past 10pm as well. Took care of business in the Highbanks 10k with a good time of 46:01. Even though my time was worse than last Sunday, it was still better because the course was extremely hilly with even some stairs thrown in.

On Sunday, we started to finish up the garage. Sanded down the remaining areas and got the ceiling painted. The walls are up for this week, any volunteers? Caught the end of the NASCAR race as well. How disturbed was I to see Dale Jr. winning with Jimmie Johnson in 2nd going into the final lap. In my mind I was trying to figure out what the best finish could be when all of a sudden Mr. Brian Vickers figured it out for me. Brian Vickers, you are having the best week ever and you are my hero of the day.

Speaking of Jimmie Johnson, we finally have a winner of Insanely Tough Trivia 2. This one proved very tough and after numerous wrong guesses, Stine finally found the right one. Below are the correct answers. Congratulations Stine, you WIN!

1. The 2 G's are on Channel 122
2. They start at 12pm EST.
3. The number 10 is the traditional attacking midfielder jersey number.
4. There are 5 books in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "triliogy".
5. The atomic weight of Mercury (Freddie Mercury) is 200.59.
6. Aerosmith had 1 number one hit in "Don't want to miss a thing"
7. You can buy a blue ring in The Legend of Zelda for 250.
8. In the year 1989 was the last time the Oakland A's won the World Series.
9. I turn 26 on October 23rd.
10. Newcastle has 286 away points in the Premiership.
11. And finally (and the stumper) Shola Amoebi whose jersey number is 23 scored the last Newcastle own goal during a League Cup game.

Congratulations to all that tried. Now go find my stuff!

Thursday, October 5

Ed Needs These Things! Rules

I have a problem. I have a strong desire for 25 things and I need your help in collecting them. What's in it for me you ask? Well the first person to bring me all 25 at the agreed upon place will win 100 dollars. That's right. That'd buy you a keg and some ice or about 6 cases of beer. Easy smeazy you say? Well maybe. Here's how it breaks down:

Over the next 7 weeks I will release an item every other day or so. Your job is to find said item and keep it until November 22nd where all entries will be judged and the winner will be chosen at Fry's Wild Turkey Party. Here are some of the official rules for Ed Needs These Things!

* All entries are subject to approval.
* Any pictures that are digitally altered in anyway will not count.
* Collection of items can be done as a team but only entered by an individual.
* Same individual must appear in all photos that require "You" to be in them.
* All entries must be presented at Fry's Wild Turkey Party @ 10 PM.
* After the contest, all items will be returned but are subject for posting on the edstavern.blogspot.com.
* In the event of a tie, the grand prize will be split among the winners.
* Rules subject to change and final say will be held by Ed on all matters.

The prizes breakdown like this:

1 Grand Prize of 100 dollars cash for all 25 items.
1st runner up: Bottle of Captain Morgan (with a minimum of 20 items)
2nd runner up: Bottle of Wild Turkey (with a minimum of 20 items)
Participant Prize: Participants not receiving a prize but have at least 15 items will receive a complimentary prize.

Ed's Note: This contest is going to be challenging but not impossible. I won't ask for pictures of G-Ride scoring or anything. The idea is to mainly have fun with it and give you something to do. Some items are going to easy. Some will be pretty hard. Others will take some time to get and you might have to rely on help from other people. Remember that thousands may enter but only one will win. Check back here early and check often, who knows when new items will be posted.

Too Tough? New Contest?

So after a few submissions by some people we still have no winner. Although some are real close. Too tough finally? We will find out.

On another note, I am wrapping up the details on the next big contest. I hope to have the rules posted up here by the end of the day. Stay tuned...

Tuesday, October 3

Insanely Tough Trivia 2

CLARIFICATION AND CORRECTION: Due to a couple of discrepancies in the last two steps, I have replaced them with two new steps. I will not state whether or not anyone was correct up until these steps. No one has submitted to me the correct answer yet (with the values I was using) but I will clear up the confusion after the correct answer is given to this new addition. One hint though is everyone's math is correct but your answers might not.

Well I ramped up this game to make it last a little longer and to test some of your math skills. Good luck.

Note: If you come up with an answer that contains decimals, drop the everything right of the decimal point before you move to the next operation. Example 75.89 becomes 75.

1. Start with the channel the Sirius show "The 2 G's" is on (as of October 3rd incase it moves).

2. Subtract the time (EST) in which this show comes on daily.

3. Divide by the number traditionally given to the attacking midfielder in soccer.

4. Multiply that by the number of books in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy trilogy.

5. Add to that the atomic weight of the last name of Queen's famous frontman.

6. Multiply that by the number of number one songs by Aerosmith.

7. Subtract that by the price of a Blue Ring in The Legend of Zelda.

8. Add to that the year in which the last team to be beaten by the Reds in the World Series won the World Series.

9. Divide that by the age that I will be on October 23rd of this year.

10. Add the number of away points Newcastle has taken in alltime premiership contests to date (October 4).

11. Divide your answer by the current jersey number of the last Newcastle player to score an own goal in League Cup competition.

Definition of Irony

So a guy writes a book in 1953 about a society where books are banned and burned. So it shouldn't come as any surprise that a family in Texas wants the book banned. Can Texas fall into the ocean instead of California? Please?

Monday, October 2

Weekend Roundup 9/29

And a good Monday to your sir. Hope everyone recovered well after the OSU win on Saturday. The spread looked good at Mike's on Saturday and it's too bad I couldn't partake in the grub due to my early morning race at the Minster Oktoberfest.

Speaking of the race, you couldn't ask for a better day to run 6.2 miles(10k) on. I defended my title as World's Fastest Ellerbrock by beating Matt with a time of 45:48. I have never ran a 10k before so I wasn't sure what to expect other than a lot of running. It was the biggest race I have ever been in with what I estimate to be about 3000 runners. So the first mile was extremely packed and reflected with my first mile split being around 8:10. Surprising to even me that my splits got faster with every mile with my final mile being sub 7 minutes. One thing that was really cool about the race was there were lots of spectators out drinking beer in front of their houses. Since about half the race was in town, it was cool to see people out partying at 9AM. Kinda like if they had a race down Lane Avenue on gameday.

We capped off a great race with a couple of pitchers of beer (yes they still have the half gallon milk jugs) and good German food. Saw Big Billy, Big Joe & Ruth and even saw Jew's lil sister puking after the race. Gearing up for another 10k this next Saturday. Anyone want in? Ha!


P.S. For Fry, here's the list of beers from Tub-O-Ed that you can choose your 6-pack from.

Hofbräu Oktoberfestbier
Tommyknocker Maple Nut Brown Ale
Samuel Adams Oktoberfest
Killians Irish Red
Shiner Hefe-Weizen
Amstel Light
Molson XXX