Thursday, December 28

Nerd Jokes

Descartes walks into a bar and orders champagne, explaining that he is celebrating a major philosophical breakthrough. The bartender gives him his drink. Descartes downs it all in one gulp.
The bartender, trying not to look surprised, asks, "Would you like another?"
Descartes says, "I think not."
And he disappears!


Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, known as "squawks," submitted by QUANTAS pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.


A civil engineer, a chemist, and a mechanical engineer are at a party. Somehow, the topic of religion comes up. "God must be a mechanical engineer," says the ME, "look at the thought and artistry that is a skeletal system. All those moving parts, working togeather in unison... it's a thing of beauty." The chemist replies, "No, no, you have it all wrong. Everything in life can be reduced to chemical reactions. Only a chemist could have created all that there is by using such complex sets of reactions." The civil engineer just laughs and says, "You're both full of it. Of course God is a civil engineer: who else would run a waste disposal system through a recreation area?"


A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are sitting outside. They see two people walk into a house; a few minutes later, three walk out.

"Our initial count must not have been accurate", the physicist says.

"No, it's simple! They must have reproduced," says the biologist.

But the mathematician says, "Now, if exactly one person walks into the house, it will be empty again."


An engineer, a mathematician, and a statistician are out hunting birds. One flies up out of the brush, and the engineer fires. Unfortunately, he was about a foot too low. The three keep walking, and soon run across another bird. The mathematician fires, but is about a foot above. The statistician pumps his fist into the air and says, "All right! We got it!"


A doctor, priest and engineer are playing golf one day. All goes well until they reach the ninth hole and they get stuck behind these really weird guys, looking completely lost, hitting the balls all over the place and just taking forever... Not wanted to cause a scene (gotta maintain golf course etiquette) the three instead go to the greens manager and ask him about the weird group.
Greens Manager: "That is a tragic story... those three are firemen and during a big fire here at the clubhouse one day they saved us all and the building, but unfortunately they lost their sight in the process so now they are heroes here and we let them play for free"
Priest: "That is a touching story. I shall pray to God tonight and hope that he might do something to ease their pain."
Doctor: "I too have been touched by that story... Me and my colleagues will focus our research on helping the blind."
Engineer: "Why can't they play at night?"


a physicist, a chemist and a statisician all are in a room, sudenly, a fire starts

the physcist goes: quick, remove the heat

the chemist goes: no, remove the oxygen

and the statsician starts running around madly starting fires

the other scream: what are you doing

and he replies: getting a decent sample size


Well, thats the thing about Binary humour.
Its either funny or its not.


An engineering student is studying in the quad of his college campus when a fellow engineering student rides up to him on what looks to be a new bicycle.

The first engineer asks, "Where did you get that spiffy bicycle?"

The second replied, "It's a funny story, actually. I was walking to class this morning when this beautiful woman rode up next to me on this very bicycle, jumped off, tore off all of her clothes and shouted 'Take what you want!'"

The first engineer pondered for a moment and said, "That was a good choice, you wouldn't have fit into her clothes anyway."


Silver and Iron were in a bar. Gold walks in, and iron say "eh you, get outta here!"


Wednesday, December 27

Now Here's An X-Mas Present I Can Get Excited About

I just wonder how much it will cost.

Merry Christmas / Happy New Year

Yea and that stuff. I'm getting lazy, here enjoy this last Christmas present:

Now bugger off.

Wednesday, December 20

Tuesday, December 5

Points 4 Anyone

Who can tell me what movie this picture is in reference to?

Can someone tell me?

Why the song "Goodbye Horses" is in my head whenever I apply chapstick?

Thursday, November 30

The Wii Lebowski

This movie was made with the Nintendo Wii. Good stuff.

Wednesday, November 22

Contest Update

Yes, it is late in getting on here but as I already explained I've been busy. The chances of me being at Fry's tonight are slim. But there is still a chance. In the event that I am not, you have until December 1st to contact me either by comment here, call me, email me, or talk to me if you see me. Unless I am there, then the normal rules apply.

So in spirit of working 12 hour days, take two of these and don't call me...

Monday, November 20

Long Time No Blog

Well as you may have noticed there hasn't been much going on here lately. Unfortunately that is not true in my real life. Work has been keeping me pretty busy so my personal time has become quite valuable. After this week things should cool off and you will return to your normal schedule of blog updates but until then hold tight.

As for the contest, it will be cut short to the existing list of items (15). Here are the original prizes:

1 Grand Prize of 100 dollars cash for all 25 items.
1st runner up: Bottle of Captain Morgan (with a minimum of 20 items)
2nd runner up: Bottle of Wild Turkey (with a minimum of 20 items)
Participant Prize: Participants not receiving a prize but have at least 15 items will receive a complimentary prize.

Now for the new shortened prizes:
1 Grand Prize of 100 dollars cash for all 15 items.
1st runner up: Bottle of Captain Morgan (with a minimum of 10 items)
2nd runner up: Bottle of Wild Turkey (with a minimum of 10 items)
Participant Prize: Participants not receiving a prize but have at least 5 items will receive a complimentary prize.

Friday, November 10

3 More Things To Hold You Over For The Weekend

* County brochure from Tuscarawas County in Ohio
* A beer brewed in Hawaii
* Socks with the Columbus Crew logo on them

Wednesday, November 8

Trivia - It's Back But Is It As Hard?

Prize: I'll buy you a beer the next time we are at the bar.

What was the 468 square mile area of land called that was once being fought over between Ohio and one of it's neighbors?

Tuesday, November 7

Go Vote

and try not to vote for a convicted child molester this time.

Oh and 2 more things...

* Coolie Cup from Ed's Tavern
* Ohio License Plate from 1991-1996 ( that has the letters E and D on it.

Friday, November 3

Over Half Way There

Here's the list so far:

* A coin set from 2001 (penny, nickel, dime, quarter, half dollar, Sacagawea)
* A 8-Track Tape from any album released in 1980
* Picture of you and 2 other people doing seperate keg stands simultaneously (3 keg stands at once)
* Airline ticket to a non-American destination
* 1 Laser Disc of any Star Wars movie (not DVD)
* Currency from foreign countries on 4 of the 7 continents (excluding Canada and Mexico)
* A hospital wristband from 4 different hospitals (Ambulatory care counts the same as the main hospital)
* 1 Issue of Pboy from every decade since it started
* 3 Postcards or letters postmarked from countries on different continents (excluding USA)
* Sears catalog 2000 or older
* A Natural Light, Busch Light, and Bud Light can with the born on date 10/23
* University degree from a college outside of Ohio
* Picture of you standing by each "Welcome to X" sign. X being the name of each state that borders Ohio. (that's 5 pictures)

More Items

Ohhh. Have 2 good ones for you this time:

* University degree from a college outside of Ohio
* Picture of you standing by each "Welcome to X" sign. X being the name of each state that borders Ohio. (that's 5 pictures)

Thursday, November 2

Vote For The Best Thing Ever!

Go here and vote. Great site made by a guy who does some really funny comics. Check it out.

Tuesday, October 31

6 Word Stories

Yea you heard me right. Stories that are 6 words long. Kinda supposed to use that imagination for the rest. Some of these are pretty good to read. Last one if my favorite.

Is Anyone Going To Buy This?


Maybe I should put this on the list.


In the spirit of All Hallo's Eve, here is something really spooky, what would happen if humanity ended today (ohhh spooky):

2 More Items To Complain About During BBQ Night

This one is easy...

* Sears catalog during the year 2000 or older

and a fun one that any respectable drinker could get...

* A Natural Light, Busch Light, and Bud Light can with the born on date 10/23

Weekend Roundup 10/27

Good morning web denizens. Whether you are stopping by for the first time or just checking in to see (and whine) what is the item of the day, please be aware that a few minor changes are in store in the next few days for the site. In the spirit of my weekend, I plan on doing a little "house" cleaning around here and throw out some of the unused parts. So you pretty much know the extent of the this weekend roundup.

However on Friday I did take part in the Dead Celebrity 5K run in Westerville. It was raining and windy so the conditions were not optimal. It was a costume race so there were many people dressed up like Dead Celebrities (duh) like Steve Irwin, the Braveheart guy, famous runner guy Steve Prefontaine and the Wright Brothers with life size plane (they won the costume contest). It was a fun race but the weather could have been better. Given the crappy weather, soaked from head to toe, and my shoe lace coming untied halfway through, I still PR'd the race with a time of 21:29 and a 21st place out of 320. No races in the future but always looking...

Friday, October 27

Look at this 'quipment

Mess some junk up with this bad boy.

Fun Game Friday

Take a shot at this game. It's in French but pretty easy to figure out. How long can you keep it up?

Thursday, October 26

Item 9 of the "It's Too Hard and I'm a Crybaby" Contest

* 3 Postcards or letters postmarked from countries on different continents (excluding USA)

I mean c'mon we all pen pals in grade school from other countries and I 'm sure someone's Aunt or Grandma went somewhere. Hell, Dawn & Fry prob. sent some post cards out during their honeymoon.

Weekend Roundup 10/20

Well we are a few days behind on this one but better late than never, right? So last week was a long way ago but here's a quick wrap up. Friday night we had complimentary tickets to the Blue Jackets game against Toronto. Had a good time but unfortunately the home team disappointed. More Blue Jackets updates to come...

Saturday was witness to the first ever World's Fastest Ellerbrock 5K. Your's truly set the course record even after getting lost for about a minute or so. Nobody beat me to win the 6 pack of pounders challenge. Next up is the Dead Celebrity 5K in Westerville this Friday. See ya there (prob. not).

Fun Pic O The Day

Wednesday, October 25

How The Rich Stay Rich

Just read this all the way through and just TRY not to be mad at the end.

Tuesday, October 24

My Birthday Plus 2 Items

Kinda busy here today and trying to catch up. Yesterday was my birthday and who blogs on their birthday? Your weekend roundup will come later, but first here are two items that you can complain about how hard they are and not get...

* A hospital wristband from 4 different hospitals (Ambulatory care counts the same as the main hospital)

* 1 Issue of Playboy from each decade since it was first published

Friday, October 20

Ed Needs These Things! Item 6


* Currency from foreign countries on 4 of the 7 continents (excluding Canada and Mexico)

Friday Musings

Take a look of some of this crazy shit over here.

Cure for Cancer?

Cool picture of the Port of Lisbon:

Thursday, October 19

The Best Essay Ever

What does Oedipus, Dr. Dre, and The Yankees have in common? This real essay that was actually turned in to a college professor. WARNING - Do not drink milk while reading this because it will shoot out your nose and ruin your keyboard. Your company's IT department thanks you.

Wednesday, October 18


Unless you have been hiding under a rock the past week you probably have heard that the OSU game will be shown on ESPNU and not on a widely accessible station. I'm not going to get into the politics as to why this is happening but will only state that my brother gets ESPNU and I will be watching the game before the big race. Feel free to drop by and watch if you are in the area. Stay for the race and chili.

Ed Needs These Things! Item 5

HINT: Phillips used to make these bad boys and gave discounts out to their employees. Now if only there was a Phillips factory around during that time...

BTW - laser discs were made all the way up to the year 2000. Fun fact.

Fox Force Five (movie reference...guess it).

* 1 Laser Disc of any Star Wars movie (not DVD)

Questions? Leave a comment.

South Park Joke or Reality?

According to this post, it's reality. An inside look at the pros/cons of being a World of Warcraft obsessed nerd. Literally reads like the South Park episode.

Tuesday, October 17

Calling You Out

Yea that's right bitches, it's put up or shut up time. This weekend anyone that can beat me in the World's Fastest Ellerbrock 5K will receive a 6 pack of Bud Light pounders. All participants will be treated to the chili cookoff that is happening there.

Where: My brothers (ask me if you need directions)
When: Saturday Oct 21st 3:00 PM shotgun start

Plenty of food will be available and showers for the runners if needed afterwards. There is a chili cookoff so if you want to participate, bring your stuff, there is plenty of space for fires I guess. Festivities will run on throughout the night and all are welcome anytime.

Vote for Me

Vote for Issue 420 or we start killing these kittens by subjecting them to endless negative campaign ads.


Yea, you might be able to create stuff outta beer tabs, but what about shopping carts?

Working From Home?

The topic of working from home comes up a lot when I discuss my job. A lot of people ask if I work from home, and when I start going down the road why that isn't necessarily possible they start to question why not. Yes, I would love the opportunity to work from home but these people who have beg to differ. Their stories appear to have a pattern, it's great for a few weeks but really starts taking it's toll on me.

I agree that with technology I could do about 85% of my daily activities off site via a secure connection. My last job provided me with a laptop to do just that but still required me to come in everyday. There was a time here at work where working from home was the lateset thing and the company offered it to employees who could manage it. However over the past 3 years it has been phased out and no one is allowed to solely stay offsite.

The main reason? People need to see you and you need to see people. You need people to be available and you need people that are reliable. Believe me, I work with a project that has a lot of different groups of people involved and when someone is out of the office or even takes a long lunch, production grinds to a halt. People get frustrated and eventually deadlines are missed. Even at my last position which didn't involve as many people, work still did not get done as well when someone wasn't there. I am not talking about scheduled leave either. I'm talking about when people came in late, left early, or took long lunches. Mainly not keeping normal work hours. Which is the primary reason why someone wants to work at home, to work when they want to.

Unfortunately that is the bottom line, the company is paying you to work when they want you to and expect you to be available. Until you have enough money to run your own company or you work for someone where you are the sole employee in your area then you pretty much are stuck. The idea to work from home was a nice fad in the 90's but has run it's course and been exposed.

Monday, October 16

Become Rich Like Mr. Derr in 7 Easy Steps

No you do not have to become someone's sex slave and dishonor your grandma. Follow these steps and just add water! Look how happy grandma is now!

Ed Needs These Things! Item 4

Four. Four?

Okay this one should be easy.

* Airline ticket to a non-American destination

Questions? Leave a comment.

Weekend Roundup 10/13

Welcome Guys and Ghouls,

Hopefully no one died in a haunted house or a summer camp or something on Friday the 13th. We attended one of those rare weddings on a Friday and even rarer Friday the 13th wedding. It definitely threw me off as I kept competing with myself with the thoughts of "It's Friday but I am at a wedding" with "I'm at a wedding but it's Friday". But one nice thing about a Friday wedding I found out is cash bar till 9:30. Everyone get married on Friday!

Saturday was Fry's "shooting" party which I renamed "Blow Shit UP and Watch Francis Knievel Ramp His POS Truck Over Varying Heights of Dirt." There might be pictures of the event over at Fry's website sometime soon.

One thing I want to address quickly is that a few people have voiced concern that the current contest might be too tough. I have made a poll question up to gauge what people are thinking and go from there. Vote it or smoke it (the pole that is).

Friday, October 13

Ed Needs These Things! Item 3

It's the magic number!

* Picture of you and 2 other people doing seperate keg stands simultaneously (3 keg stands at once)

Helpful Hint: I heard Keg Races 2006 is coming up soon.

Questions? Leave a comment.

Wednesday, October 11

Ed Needs These Things! Item 2

Hello, I'm number 2:

* A 8-Track Tape from any album released in 1980

Questions? Leave a comment.

Tuesday, October 10

Election 2006

Okay, I have decided. I am officially announcing how I will vote during the 2006 elections. My policy is wherever there is not a Libertarian candidate or issue on the ballot to vote for, I will vote for whoever had the funniest campaign commercials, regardless of party affliation.

So far I am voting for whoever is opposing Mike DeWine, Shaminsky, and whoever runs the fat guy teaching aerobics class.

Monday, October 9

Ed Needs These Things! Item 1

Here is your first item:

A set of coins from 2001 (penny, nickel, dime, quarter, half dollar, Sacagawea)

Questions? Leave a comment.

Weekend Roundup 10/6

Heeeeeeeeey yoooooooou guuuuuuuuuuuuys.

Welcome back to Monday, or as I like to call it, Satan's birthday. Another successful weekend in the books. Good time down on campus, glad Stine could make it past 10pm as well. Took care of business in the Highbanks 10k with a good time of 46:01. Even though my time was worse than last Sunday, it was still better because the course was extremely hilly with even some stairs thrown in.

On Sunday, we started to finish up the garage. Sanded down the remaining areas and got the ceiling painted. The walls are up for this week, any volunteers? Caught the end of the NASCAR race as well. How disturbed was I to see Dale Jr. winning with Jimmie Johnson in 2nd going into the final lap. In my mind I was trying to figure out what the best finish could be when all of a sudden Mr. Brian Vickers figured it out for me. Brian Vickers, you are having the best week ever and you are my hero of the day.

Speaking of Jimmie Johnson, we finally have a winner of Insanely Tough Trivia 2. This one proved very tough and after numerous wrong guesses, Stine finally found the right one. Below are the correct answers. Congratulations Stine, you WIN!

1. The 2 G's are on Channel 122
2. They start at 12pm EST.
3. The number 10 is the traditional attacking midfielder jersey number.
4. There are 5 books in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "triliogy".
5. The atomic weight of Mercury (Freddie Mercury) is 200.59.
6. Aerosmith had 1 number one hit in "Don't want to miss a thing"
7. You can buy a blue ring in The Legend of Zelda for 250.
8. In the year 1989 was the last time the Oakland A's won the World Series.
9. I turn 26 on October 23rd.
10. Newcastle has 286 away points in the Premiership.
11. And finally (and the stumper) Shola Amoebi whose jersey number is 23 scored the last Newcastle own goal during a League Cup game.

Congratulations to all that tried. Now go find my stuff!

Thursday, October 5

Ed Needs These Things! Rules

I have a problem. I have a strong desire for 25 things and I need your help in collecting them. What's in it for me you ask? Well the first person to bring me all 25 at the agreed upon place will win 100 dollars. That's right. That'd buy you a keg and some ice or about 6 cases of beer. Easy smeazy you say? Well maybe. Here's how it breaks down:

Over the next 7 weeks I will release an item every other day or so. Your job is to find said item and keep it until November 22nd where all entries will be judged and the winner will be chosen at Fry's Wild Turkey Party. Here are some of the official rules for Ed Needs These Things!

* All entries are subject to approval.
* Any pictures that are digitally altered in anyway will not count.
* Collection of items can be done as a team but only entered by an individual.
* Same individual must appear in all photos that require "You" to be in them.
* All entries must be presented at Fry's Wild Turkey Party @ 10 PM.
* After the contest, all items will be returned but are subject for posting on the
* In the event of a tie, the grand prize will be split among the winners.
* Rules subject to change and final say will be held by Ed on all matters.

The prizes breakdown like this:

1 Grand Prize of 100 dollars cash for all 25 items.
1st runner up: Bottle of Captain Morgan (with a minimum of 20 items)
2nd runner up: Bottle of Wild Turkey (with a minimum of 20 items)
Participant Prize: Participants not receiving a prize but have at least 15 items will receive a complimentary prize.

Ed's Note: This contest is going to be challenging but not impossible. I won't ask for pictures of G-Ride scoring or anything. The idea is to mainly have fun with it and give you something to do. Some items are going to easy. Some will be pretty hard. Others will take some time to get and you might have to rely on help from other people. Remember that thousands may enter but only one will win. Check back here early and check often, who knows when new items will be posted.

Too Tough? New Contest?

So after a few submissions by some people we still have no winner. Although some are real close. Too tough finally? We will find out.

On another note, I am wrapping up the details on the next big contest. I hope to have the rules posted up here by the end of the day. Stay tuned...

Tuesday, October 3

Insanely Tough Trivia 2

CLARIFICATION AND CORRECTION: Due to a couple of discrepancies in the last two steps, I have replaced them with two new steps. I will not state whether or not anyone was correct up until these steps. No one has submitted to me the correct answer yet (with the values I was using) but I will clear up the confusion after the correct answer is given to this new addition. One hint though is everyone's math is correct but your answers might not.

Well I ramped up this game to make it last a little longer and to test some of your math skills. Good luck.

Note: If you come up with an answer that contains decimals, drop the everything right of the decimal point before you move to the next operation. Example 75.89 becomes 75.

1. Start with the channel the Sirius show "The 2 G's" is on (as of October 3rd incase it moves).

2. Subtract the time (EST) in which this show comes on daily.

3. Divide by the number traditionally given to the attacking midfielder in soccer.

4. Multiply that by the number of books in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy trilogy.

5. Add to that the atomic weight of the last name of Queen's famous frontman.

6. Multiply that by the number of number one songs by Aerosmith.

7. Subtract that by the price of a Blue Ring in The Legend of Zelda.

8. Add to that the year in which the last team to be beaten by the Reds in the World Series won the World Series.

9. Divide that by the age that I will be on October 23rd of this year.

10. Add the number of away points Newcastle has taken in alltime premiership contests to date (October 4).

11. Divide your answer by the current jersey number of the last Newcastle player to score an own goal in League Cup competition.

Definition of Irony

So a guy writes a book in 1953 about a society where books are banned and burned. So it shouldn't come as any surprise that a family in Texas wants the book banned. Can Texas fall into the ocean instead of California? Please?

Monday, October 2

Weekend Roundup 9/29

And a good Monday to your sir. Hope everyone recovered well after the OSU win on Saturday. The spread looked good at Mike's on Saturday and it's too bad I couldn't partake in the grub due to my early morning race at the Minster Oktoberfest.

Speaking of the race, you couldn't ask for a better day to run 6.2 miles(10k) on. I defended my title as World's Fastest Ellerbrock by beating Matt with a time of 45:48. I have never ran a 10k before so I wasn't sure what to expect other than a lot of running. It was the biggest race I have ever been in with what I estimate to be about 3000 runners. So the first mile was extremely packed and reflected with my first mile split being around 8:10. Surprising to even me that my splits got faster with every mile with my final mile being sub 7 minutes. One thing that was really cool about the race was there were lots of spectators out drinking beer in front of their houses. Since about half the race was in town, it was cool to see people out partying at 9AM. Kinda like if they had a race down Lane Avenue on gameday.

We capped off a great race with a couple of pitchers of beer (yes they still have the half gallon milk jugs) and good German food. Saw Big Billy, Big Joe & Ruth and even saw Jew's lil sister puking after the race. Gearing up for another 10k this next Saturday. Anyone want in? Ha!


P.S. For Fry, here's the list of beers from Tub-O-Ed that you can choose your 6-pack from.

Hofbräu Oktoberfestbier
Tommyknocker Maple Nut Brown Ale
Samuel Adams Oktoberfest
Killians Irish Red
Shiner Hefe-Weizen
Amstel Light
Molson XXX

Friday, September 29

General Site Update

Well now that I have my laptop up and running again, I have no excuse to not keep this baby updated. I'm assuming I'll see Fry for the first time since winning the first trivia contest to deliver the 6 pack of pounders at Mike's party Saturday. I also owe you a six pack of Tub-O-Ed beer. I'll post the list of beers you can choose from soon.

We also have a new poll up. The results of the last poll of what would you do with Mr. Derr's money were to buy hoes (in different area codes).

Coming up I have a couple of new moovie reviews, a new book review, and I'll be reviewing the most awesome TV show in history. A new contest will be posted soon that requires more audience participation then ever before. Expect another Insanely Tough Trivia Question soon. As always you'll get your healthy helping of interesting stories and the usual funny picture or two. Who knows, I might get a little crazy and update the free beer contest. Don't hold your breath though...

Until then enjoy this cool picture of the New York skyline (click to enlarge):

Wednesday, September 27

25 Signs That, Sadly, You've Grown Up

  1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
  2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
  3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
  4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
  5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
  6. You watch the Weather Channel.
  7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
  8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
  9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
  10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
  11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
  12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
  13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.
  14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.
  15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
  16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.
  17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
  18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle your stomach.
  19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
  20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff".
  21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
  22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."
  23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
  24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
  25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save Your sorry old ass.

Editor note: I actually only hit about half of these so far.

Tuesday, September 26

America's Getting Fatter

According to this article, McDonald's is preparing to offer their breakfast 24/7. The first sign of the apocalypse is upon us.

New Al

It's that time again. That time that happens about every 3 years or so. Yea you guessed it. A new Weird Al Yankovic album hits the stores today. Go pick up your copy of Straight Outta Lynwood today.

Monday, September 25

Weekend Roundup 9/22

Oh the Tub-O-Ed has come and gone and good times were had. Big party down by the campus on Saturday. Hey Tyson, how bout that side boob?

Ah I'm too tired to write anymore. I'm lazy.

Until I get motivated again to do some more, ponder this picture of the covers of Newsweek. They put out a different cover depending on where you live in the world. Notice anything?

Friday, September 22

A Perfect Tool?

Great show last night. I'm sure it'll be talked about tonight at the you know what. See ya there.

And don't forget.....

Thursday, September 21

OMG It's Tool!!11one

I got caught up in all the Tub-O-Ed excitement that I totally forgot about the Tool concert tonight. The best band in the land will descend on Nationwide Arena tonight to rock out washerboard style. I paid for the whole seat but I'll only need the edge. Socks not required as they will be rocked off by the first song.

Cya tomorrow.

Tuesday, September 19

Daily Musings

Well I could go on a rant about yesterday's encounter with a moving company and my mailbox and how it ended up cancelling my scheduled nap. But I'll save that for another day. For now I bring you some random musings from across the interweb.

Being a geek can get you laid. (Tyson take notes)

Renew your passport buddy or the government will eat you.

Winner of the Unintelligent Design Contest
One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Uglyass Fish

Wanna Piss Off Your Neighbor (true)

Couple pictures for you. First picture is of the spacestation and shuttle in front of the sun. It's like Where's Waldo for Dummies.

And we end on a cartoon cause they rule:

Monday, September 18

Weekend Roundup 9/15

Hi, ho. Hi, ho. It's off to work I go. Ho, hum.

Hopefully a most excellent weekend was had by all. Had a fun time down on campus during the OSU game. Nothing like drinking too much and yelling obscenties and insults at random people via a megaphone. Bruce gets the weekend award for actually providing some use (other than being a donkey) by nearly getting his ass kicked on numerous occasions by less than thrilled passerby'ers.
Less than a week away from Tub-O-Ed. Hopefully everyone is doing a good job picking out some good beer to drink. Jaime McMurray still sucks but he sucks a little less than Jimmie Johnson this week. cheater...

BTW - looks like this week's trivia question is going to be tougher than the last. Don't give up yet.

Friday, September 15

Thursday, September 14

Insanely Tuff Trivia 2

These three gentlemen starred in a early 90's television show loosely based off a movie made in 1986. You must provide me with the following:

1. The television show name.
2. The actor's real names in the picture and the characters they portrayed.
3. The movie this show is loosely based off of.

This question is a bit tougher than the last so I will give you one hint. The bully in this series (not pictured) is one of the few original actors left on the television series, ER (although he did take a brief hiatus).

Winner of Insanely Tuff Trivia 2 receives a 6-pack of Tub-O-Ed* beer of their choice. Aspiring screen writers need not enter.

*Tub-O-Ed beer is any brand that is brought to the Tub-O-Ed party.

Winner Is You (Fry)

Congratulations to Fry for correctly answering the trivia question with Paul D'Amour.

The catch was that he played with members of A Perfect Circle, Guns N Roses, Peach, and Failure in different projects but never actually played in those bands.

D'Amour was the original bassist for Tool but was fired/quit after the Undertow album because he wanted to work on different music. He was already working on a side project called the Replicants with Chris Pitman (now with GNR and Stine's answer), Ken Andrews, and Greg Edwards (from Failure). Of course when he was in Tool he played with Maynard James Keenan, the lead singer, who also fronts A Perfect Circle. Later he formed Lusk with Brad Laner, Chris Pitman, and Greg Edwards. For the last clue, his last name D'Amour (Amour) means love.

Okay, now buckle down for this next part as we explore the musical orgy that exists here.

Paul D'Amour was in Tool with Maynard James Keenan. MJK also fronted A Perfect Circle with original guitarist Troy Van Leeuwen. TVL was also in Failure with Greg Edwards and Ken Andrews. APC also covered a Failure tune on their album Thirteenth Step after TVL left APC. D'Amour's Replicant bandmate, Chris Pitman, is now in the new iteration of Guns N Roses. On the GNR note, in one of it's many lineups it briefly featured Josh Freese as the drummer. Freese is currently the drummer for A Perfect Circle (with MJK). Freese replaced Tim Alexander as the drummer in APC. At the time Alexander went back to Primus and replaced Bryan Mantia as the drummer in that group. Guess where Bryan went? GNR with Chris Pitman. Also the guitarist in GNR at that time is Buckethead who has made numerous collaborations with Les Claypool also of Primus fame. Mantia was also bandmates with Buckethead in the band Praxis. Current GNR guitarist, Robin Finck has also been in Nine Inch Nails with Trent Reznor. Since joining GNR he has been replaced in NIN by Danny Lohner who has been active heavily in the A Perfect Circle project. Reznor and Lohner briefly had a project with Maynard called Tapeworm. After it disbanded a Tapeworm song originally titled Vacant appeared on A Perfect Circle album eMotiv renamed Passive. Reznor's also acquired Marilyn Manson's former bassist Jeordie White, aka Twiggy Ramirez. After Manson but before NIN White was the travelling bassist for, you guessed it, APC. He also played with Josh Homme of Queens of the Stone Age who also has recruited Troy Van Leeuwen after he left APC. Jeordie White replaced Paz Lenchantin as the bassist in APC after she left to join Zwan with Billy Corgan. Billy's former Smashing Pumpkin guitarist, James Iha, was also the travelling guitarist of APC replacing Mr. Troy Van Leewen. Former bassist for the Pumpkins, Melissa Auf der Maur was formerly of Hole with Courtney Love. Love is of course the wife to the late Kurt Cobain but also had a brief fling with Billy Corgan. Also little known fact is that Courtney Love was one of the former lead singers of Faith No More. Faith No More's drummer Mike Bordin was also lined up to replace Bryan Mantia in Primus before Tim Alexander came back into the fold. To put the cherry on the top of this mess is founder of APC, Billy Howerdel, was a guitar tech for just about every band I mentioned here before forming APC.

Wow, six degrees to Kevin Bacon has nothing on this mess. I believe OSU is offering a major in this subject this fall. I'm sure Phil is already enrolled.

New (and harder) trivia question coming this afternoon.

Tuesday, September 12

Who Am I?

As promised I am starting a trivia question for the week. When you think you know the answer, leave me a comment with your name. First one with the correct answer wins the prize.

Today's prize: 6 pack of Bud Light pounders

Who Am I?

* I am in the music industry.
* I have played with members of A Perfect Circle, Guns N Roses, Peach, and Failure.
* I formed the critically acclaimed psychedelic pop band Lusk with Brad Laner.
* People "love" my name.

Weekend Round Up 9/8

Hey o. Hope everyone had a great weekend. Saw most everyone at Pioneer not drinking Coors Light and having a good time. Everybody seemed in good spirits after the OSU win. Something new and interesting to see at Pioneer was the Oasis tent (no not the band). For those of you who didn't go in, the Oasis tent was where you could get specialty drinks and eats. A lot of girly drinks but most important some new imports from Holland. I remember saying that Budweiser must have purchased the brewery and started to import the beer and sure enough I was right. Lots of interesting and good news in that article and I'm sure you can see more of that beer in the future coming around. Coincidently enough it would be an excellent beer to bring to Tub-O-Ed.

Good stuff and see some of you next weekend down here in Columbus for OSU tailgating.

Friday, September 8

Welcome Aboard!

Welcome aboard the good ship Ed's Tavern! For many of you this is probably the first time you have seen this site. Actually I have been running this site for about a month now and actually been updating it fairly regularly. I suggest reading my first post and going from there. Make sure you sign up for free beer and check out all the details for Tub-O-Ed coming up. Check back early and often as I tend to update the site frequently.

In celebration of the Grand Opening, during the week of September 10th, I will be running a trivia contest and the winners will get valuable prizes. Make sure you stop in and try your luck and maybe this guy will party with you!

Welcome Back Boat Trip Riders

Hope no one drowned or was eaten by anacondas. I'll await to hear all the tales of debauchery and drunkenness. Good day to you sir.

P.S. Dis guy says hi --->

Microbreweries of America

In the spirit of the upcoming Tub-O-Ed, I have compiled a list of microbreweries across America. All you need is Google Earth. This is a really sweet application if you never seen it before. Then grab this file and import it into Google Earth. Pretty easy.

The Devil Wears Prada

"You sold your soul to the devil when you put on your first pair of Jimmy Choo's! "

First let me say that this is my first moovie that I actually watched in a theater in quite some time. Not normally my cup of tea, since the last 5 moovies I watched either contained zombies or vampires, but I did hear good things and I must say that I was quite surprised.

The Devil Wears Prada is about a young college graduate (Anne Hathaway) trying to land her first job out of college. She is interviewing as the 2nd assistant to Miranda Priestly (Meryl Streep), head of "Runway, the world's leading fashion publication. Andrea (Hathaway) is an inspiring journalist who has much higher goals then being some lackey to a fashion tycoon and is promised if she can last in this job for one year it will open doors and lead her to a job she really wants. The catch is that Miranda is the boss from hell. She expects everything done a minute before she tells you and a compliment from her is not getting berated about not doing your job.

An example of said request as she is walking in the office 1st thing:
The details of your incompetence do not interest me. Tell Simone I'm not going to prove that girl she sent me for the Brazilian layout. I asked for clean, athletic, smiling; she sent me dirty, tired and paunchy. And RSVP yes to Michael Kors' party, I want the driver to drop me off at 9.30 and pick me up at 9.45 sharp. Then call Natalie at Gloria's Foods and tell her no, for the 40th time, no, I don't want dacquoise, I want tortes filled with warm rhubarb compote. Then call my ex-husband and remind him that the parent/teacher conference at Dalton is tonight. Then call my husband. Ask him to please meet me for dinner at that place I went to with Masima. Also, tell Richard I saw all the pictures that he sent for that feature on the female paratroopers and they're all so deeply unattractive. Is it impossible to find a lovely, slender, female paratrooper? Am I reaching for the stars here? Not really. Also I need to see all the things that Nigel has pulled for Gwyneth's second cover.
Get all that? Okay have it done in an hour (but she really expects it in 15 minutes). At first Andrea tries to resist the fashion obsessed culture but she finds not fitting in and being herself is not working for her. She turns to Nigel for help and he starts to give her fashion tips and before you know it she is dressed to the nines and kicking ass at her job. She really starts to make an impression on people and things really start heading her way. However it doesn't come without consequences as she loses sight of her original plan and her old friends get mad when she constantly blows them off for job responsibilities. Some of these responsibilities include finding a flight for Miranda out of Miami during a hurricane and obtaining the unpublished manuscript of the next Harry Potter book for her twin daughters.

Finally, Andrea asks Miranda, "What if I don't want this?" and Miranda responds, "Oh don't be silly, EVERYONE wants this. Everyone wants to be *us*".

This moovie really surprised me because it really makes you ask yourself what would you do in that situation. Do you become something you're not and give into the temptation of success and fame or do you stick to your guns and be yourself no matter what the cost? Without giving away the ending of the moovie (and it is a surprise even though I called it from a mile away) it is very satisfying and really wraps it up well.

The Ups: The moovie is very well done. It is funny and you really get to know the characters just enough and get a feel for what things are like in the cut-throat business of fashion. It is just the right length and ends nicely. Most of all Meryl Streep portrays the character, Miranda, extremely well and really lives up to her nickname, The Dragon Lady.

The Downs: Not really too much to complain about here but I do have a small gripe. When they try to doll up Anne Hathaway for the parts where she is supposed to knock out gorgeous you can really tell some of the camera tricks they do to pull it off. Kinda like all the fight scenes in The Chronicles of Riddick where they are all dark and flash around every split second to make up for the inadequate Vin Diesel performance.

Overall: Go out and score some points by bringing your special ladyfriend to this one. You'll score some points because you are sensitive and will actually enjoy yourself in the process.

Verdict: Three cosmos and a starbucks night cap.

Tuesday, September 5

Weekend Roundup 9/1

Back to work. Yay. Though had a great extended Labor day weekend and hope everyone did the same. Saw most of everyone at Parkfest this weekend and probably see anyone I missed at Pioneer next weekend. Yay for Pioneer to have good beer and not that crappy Coors Light. I mean really, what is up with that noise? I got through about 5 beers and had to throw in the towel. Nothing but crap.

Speaking of which, can someone explain to me the whole Lions Club/Holy Name controversy? Are there burgers and beer or not? Are we going to see a battle royale this weekend? Who should I bet on? What will OMK do since he is both? Is he mad at himself? So confused....

Anywho Sunday was George & Marilyn's anniversary party. Lots of fun drinking "porch juice" and didn't even watch much of the race and thanks to Stine for letting me know what I already did even though I didn't see it end. Good times. See you at Pioneer if you're not boycotting.

Thursday, August 31

Newcastle Transfer News

I know everyone has been eagerly awaiting some updates regarding Newcastle transfer talks with the upcoming closure of the Summer window. So let's get to it...

Surprising to me when I woke up this morning was the news that Newcastle made a deal to acquire Giuseppe Rossi on loan until January 2007. For those of you not aware of the controversy surrounding Rossi, I will fill you in. Rossi was born in New Jersey and played in America up to around age 13. He then left for Italy to play in the leagues there and hopefully become part of their national team. The controversy started when the United States National Team (USMNT) wanted him to play for them since he is an American citizen. Rossi turned it down because of he wanted to play for Italy, even though it is known that you must play in the Italian league to be considered for their side. Rossi now plays in England and hasn't played a minute for Italy's senior side (but he's only 19).

As with all loan deals Rossi cannot play when Newcastle faces Manchester United in October or in January (if his loan is extended). It has yet to be seen if he will play in the UEFA cup. If he does then he becomes cup tied to Newcastle and will not be able to play any cup games for Manchester if he returns this season. Either way it's exciting news as he is a promising player and will provide excellent cover until the transfer window opens in again in January.

In other transfer news, James Milner is in last minute talks to leave Newcastle and rejoin Aston Villa. This would be bad but it could give them some cash to go after named targets like Viduka and Huth (who apparently is almost signed by Boro but "something" held him up).

Transfer window closes tonight so let's see what the next 14 hours bring!

Wednesday, August 30


What: 1st Annual Tub-o-Ed
When: September 22
Where: Ed's Gahanna Compound

Frequently Asked Questions Regarding Tub-o-Ed

Q: What is Tub-o-Ed?

A: If you are familar with a Tub-o-Nasty then you're really not far off but for those of you that are unfamilar with the concept allow me to explain.

Party goers are asked to bring 6-12 beers of a unique flavor. In a Tub-o-Nasty, one would strive to find a flavor that someone would normally not drink due to it's "nasty" taste. Some examples are Natural Ice, Blatz, Genesee Cream Ale, and Black Label. Selections are limited to a standard 12oz can. All participants are asked to put their beer in a tub with everyone else's bringings. Anytime you need a beer you must blindly reach into the tub and drink what you pull. The only exceptions are you cannot pull the same brand twice in a row. Also participants are asked to drink one of their own first before anything else to prevent anyone from dumping in skunky beer. Bottles and odd shaped cans are prohibited in a Tub-o-Nasty.

The differences in a Tub-o-Ed is instead of nasty beer, you are encouraged to bring in premium beer, the more unusual the better. In a Tub-o-Ed size and shape do not matter so bottles are welcome. The honor system is used to prevent anyone from pulling the same beer twice. But usually there is so much good beer there that you want to try them all.

Q: What are some examples of beers I should bring?

A: Popular examples include anything from breweries like Samuel Smith, Great Lakes, Thirsty Dog, Gordon Biersch, and anything imported.

Q: Where can I get my hands on some of this beer?

A: Due to the rise in microbrew distributers there are a lot of places to look for such beer. Anderson's, Giant Eagle, and even Krogers carry a wide variety. My personal favorite is The Beer Guy down in the North Market.

Q: What if I suck and want to bring in regular light beer?

A: Those that do not wish to participate are still welcome to attend but may be subject to abuse for their sissy beer choices.

Q: What should I bring (besides the beer)?

A: I recommend your favorite pub glass. The majority of these beers are best enjoyed in a glass instead of their bottle. A simple rinse in between tastings should be sufficient.

Any more questions just drop me a comment.

Other notes:

There are plenty of places for people to crash if they need it. Those that wish to stay will be treated to a delicious breakfast the next morning prior to the OSU game. It hasn't been announced if the OSU game the next day is a morning, afternoon, or evening but either way the drinking will continue at Stine's. Cornhole and games of the Polish variety and possibly lawn bowling available. Please contact me if you need directions to my place. I plan on providing some brauts and burgers for the grill with a few snacks throughout the night and possibly some other surprises. One last reason to come....these guys will be there:

"Let's rock this bitch"

Free Music (legal) In Your Future

Read about it here.

Gotta say that would be a very bold move but I can't believe the musicians woudld be all that thrilled.

Here's to this working and me not spending anymore money on CD's ever.

Tuesday, August 29


What's Up Bitches
"God rest the souls of that poor family... and pussy's half price for the next 15 minutes."

World Series Of Poker - Deadwood Satellite TournamentSuch is the way in the town of Deadwood, setting for HBO's series titled by the same name. You might get killed but you best be sure that life will continue on without you in this lawless town. The series chronicles the lives of the residents of Deadwood around the Wild West years. The first season deals a lot with Wild Bill Hickok and his eventual demise in the town. Sorry for spoiling anything there but it's based on history and much of the events portrayed are true with little fiction thrown in for dramatic effect.

Man, do I bang a whore today or shoot someone?  Tough decisions.Some of the show stars are Seth Bullock, the sheriff, and Al Swearengen, the bad but in a good way saloon owner. There are cameos and main roles for famous figures in history like Wyatt Earp, Calamity Jane, and Charlie Utter. You get a good sense as to what it was like living in a mining town on the edge of the frontier and get to watch it develop from a lawless and corrupt camp to a semi-functioning town with elected officials. Along the way there are feuds between saloon owners, bar room brawls, cold hearted murders, and plenty of whores.

Cocksucker!The series is alone worth watching for the interactions between Wu, the local Chineseman who speaks very little English, and Swearengen. Swearengen often employs Wu to "dispose" of evidence to his stable of pigs and the communications between the two are some of the most quotable lines of the show.

The show was originally planned for 4 seasons worth of shows just closed it's 3rd season on Sunday. Although HBO planned on pulling the plug after the 3rd season (an offer of a half a season was turned down by the writers) it has been extended to wrap up with 2 2-hour movies in lieu of a 4th season.

The Ups: Plenty of action in each episode. The episodes move along at a good pace and you are rarely left with the feeling that the writer's copped out somewhere. Put it in a few words, do not get too attached to a particular character cause they might be dead in the next scene.

The Downs: It takes a bit to really get into the dialogue. The show really gets authentic with the script and often conversations will go by and you have to ask, "What did he just say?" Since a lot of the show setup is done with backroom deals and political posturing it is difficult to follow at times what exactly are the intentions of everyone in the town. However the flowery language is definitely what sets this show above the others once you get the handle on it.

Overall: Great television and it will be sad to see this one go, but since it is based on real events it can't last forever. This is definitely worth a purchase on DVD as you'll want to watch a few of the memorable scenes over again.

The Verdict: Three shots a whiskey and a visit with Trixie.

Sirius Jukebox

Well it hasn't even been a month and I already am too lazy to update certain sections of this site. However the structure of the site is fairly organic and my intentions were to see what works and get rid of/change what doesn't. The first section to bite the dust was "What I Was Listening To" where I gave a review of any CD I was currently listening to (obviously). However I found myself not really listenting to CDs much and nearly all my time was listening to various channels on my Sirius Satellite Radio.

So instead of giving a whole review to an album, I will just list a song (or two) that I am currently like and what channel I find it on. I'll also include the standard link to Wikipedia (if there is one) where you can find enough information to obtain a copy of said song.

Monday, August 28

Weekend Roundup 8/25

Welcome to Monday and man does it suck? Way too tired today to be doing much of anything so just a quick recap here.

Friday hit a few bars downtown. Saw Frankie Hejduk of the Columbus Crew down at the R Bar. He's been hurt all year but looks like his drinking elbow is functioning well. Saturday checked out Gayle's dad's new pad. Pretty cool place with lots of room. After that it was off to "Brian Erhardt's BBQ NOT Featuring Sinister Midget". I think I had about 5 brauts and a burger and half a bag of Ruth's cookies. Rumor going round was there was monster cookies available for a limited time. I am displeased I did not get one. Jew when you read this have Ruth mail me one (she has my address).

On a sports related note, Jaime McMurray did us all a favor and eliminated himself from the Chase this past weekend with a glorious 30th place.

Jaime McMurray, this is for you:
On another note, Newcastle lost on Sunday to red hot Aston Villa, 2-0. Keeping with their impeccable luck, their newest signing, Obefami Martins left the game due to injury. Further reports say he should be back for the next match on 9/9 with Fulham. For those keeping score at home that's the same Fulham that is now home to former Columbus Crew Brian McBride and Simon Elliot. Oh they lost this weekend too and are almost mathematically eliminated from the playoffs. Go Crew. Hertha did the only respectable thing and at least played for the tie in an away game at Hamburger SV (1-1).

Should be a good week as the transfer window is closing and Newcastle are looking to bring in a few more players. So until then have a....

Testing Comments?

After talking to a few of you that told me you tried to put in comments a few times without any luck, I decided to test out leaving comments.

So I checked it out and found somehow when I was playing with the options on this site I turned on comment moderation. It's supposed to email me when a comment was made and I guess I was supposed to approve it. I didn't supply an email to send it to so all your comments went unheard. I checked the queue and found all them waiting for my blessing. So they are all approved and I removed the moderation feature so all comments go straight to the page now.

Have at it.

Friday, August 25

We Have Work To Do

America's Drunkest Cities

Columbus is number 3 only behind Milwaukee and Minn./St. Paul. Get to work people!

Haway the lads

Yesterday was a great day for Newcastle fans as they finally qualified for the UEFA Cup with a 0-0 (1-0 agg) tie over FK Ventspils. After a year hiatus (last year they failed to qualify by losing in the Intertoto Cup) they make their way back in Europe as the highest ranked team outside the Champions League sides.

Newcastle has drew Estonian side Levadia Tallinn for the first round. This is a home/home series on Sept 14th and 28th. Too bad they didn't draw Dutch team Standard Liege where U.S. National Team player Oguchi Onyewu plays. There has been plenty of speculation of his move to the Premiership this summer given his performance at the World Cup. However we will have to wait until the January transfer window now.

Also advancing yesterday was German team Hertha Berlin. With a 2-2 tie (2-3 agg) over Georgian side Ameri Tbilisi, they will also play a home/home series on the 14th and 28th with Odense.

Both sides look to be able to handle these teams fairly easily but I wouldn't be betting your house on either of these. Both teams have yet to show they have a proven finisher and if either team's defense struggle it could be a long night.

But until then....congratulations.

Thursday, August 24

The Eagle Has Landed

Looks like Newcastle has wrapped up their bid for striker, Obafemi Martins.

From the official site, Thursday:

Obafemi Martins was heading for Tyneside today as Newcastle United looked to complete his signing from Inter Milan. The Magpies have agreed a fee with the Serie A giants for the Nigerian striker - a man Toon boss Glenn Roeder revealed was his top transfer target this summer. Martins was due to undergo a medical on Thursday, and all being well, he will be at St. James' Park to watch the UEFA Cup game with FK Ventspils."We have got club officials out there today in Milan trying to tie the (Martins) deal up.

Happy dance!


Word. I'm a badass."Yea, with the swords, and he throws it up in the air, yea catch it underneath - SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Wesley Snipes plays Blade, a vampire killer, who has given himself the task of eradicated the planet of all vampires. This roots from the incident when his mother was attacked by a vampire while pregnant with Blade. His mother died during birth and Blade has swore lifelong revenge.

Now I am a big fan of vampire movies and I heard good things about this movie coming in so I was excited. The movie centers around a vampire, Deacon Frost, who is bent on fulfilling a prophecy where the "Blood God" is resurrected and pretty much lays waste to Earth and it's people, you know the drill.

Well the catch is he has to get the heads of the twelve vampire tribes (House of Erebus) together and in the blood of the "Daywalker" which just happens to be Blade. Now there is some tension between Frost and the leaders of the twelve tribes because they feel they are superior because they are "pure blood" meaning they were born vampires whereas Frost is not of pure blood because he was human once and was turned into a vampire.

You're Fired!This is my major gripe about the whole movie and it really puts a hurt on my experience. In the first scene you see the House of Erebus and they are sitting around a board table very Donald Trump like. They are unhappy with actions recently made by Frost and plan to reprimand him. However they call him in to the chambers and he pretty much pisses all over them. They do nothing to retaliate and just take it like pansies. We never see what really makes them so powerful and so feared and only see them being led around like lambs (especially in the final scenes). Likewise we never know what makes Frost so powerful and why he is so regarded among the vampires as he appears to be a normal vampire.

Oh and the ending sucked. This "Blood God" turns out to be a giant pussy and is killed pretty easily. Some threat to the Earth he was...

Pussy!Now I usually do not watch the extras on the DVD often but I caught a little of them this time. I was curious to see an alternate ending was offered so I watched it. Apparently the "Blood God" was supposed to be this 6 story tall blood blob guy that really takes it to Blade. Now that is something I could get into. However it was scrapped because the special effects turned out bad and the test audiences didn't like that the villain wasn't a human actor. Whatever. Now the special effects were kinda bad in the scene but most of the effects in the moovie were not spectacular (but for back in the day they were decent).

The Ups: You have vampires, killing, blood, and loads of action. What's not to like there? This moovie came out right before The Matrix redefined the action genre and you can definitely see a lot of similarities between the two.

The Downs: Too much of the story is not explained well enough and I still can't get over that the House of Erebus are such pansies. Even in the extras where they go indepth on each tribe and they make it sound like these guys are nearly unstoppable but yet they can't even control a wussmaster like Frost. So unbelievable. (Yes and vampires are...)

Overall: I'm sure back in 1998 this was the shit. You have a pretty good action moovie with a good sprinkling of vampires and the supernatural. The special effects were kinda cheesy in places but it would be interesting to see what they came up with if they made this one today....oh wait they did. It's called Underworld.

The Verdict: Two bloody marys (Shirley Temple style)

Racial Survivor?

Survivor's Racial Twist

Is this good TV or sign of the apocalypse? Will you watch and if you root for a certain team are you racist?

Wednesday, August 23

The World Is Flat

"In China today, Bill Gates is Britney Spears. In America today, Britney Spears is Britney Spears -- and that is our problem."

If the above quote from the author upsets you then you should probably give this book a read. My interest in this book was raised when an off-shore company started working on the project I belong to at work. Of course many people went "Office Space" and swore that we would all be out of jobs in 2 months and all of our work will be done in India. Needless to say we are still here and this book explains why, well at least for now.

The World Is Flat is a detailed look at globalization, the world economy and it's impact to America. It goes about stating what brought along globalization (things like the Internet, high speed cable, VOIP, etc) and the history of technology in the past 15 years. The author, Thomas Friedman, cites numerous examples where U.S. was at one time the leader in many of these technologies but how quickly other countries like China and India are taking our place.

He starts off the book by saying globalization isn't bad and it's happened before and we lived. But by the middle he is saying that this time may be different because we are not doing things like we used to. Then he scares the Jesus out of everyone by giving examples where the United States is becoming very mediocre and very complacent in it's view of itself in the world today. This causes the other countries to get ahead.

Probably the most frustrating part in the book is where he calls out the President and the current government on numerous times where measures could be taken to prevent this problem from growing but because of stubbornness nothing was done. I plan on elaborating a bit more on the plan he proposes in a near future post.

The Ups: Great detailed history of the past 15 years in technology and is very thorough in his explanation of his ideas and theories. Quite an eye opener and holds plenty of ammunition to battle the anti-globalization crowd and even gives a few shots to the President. Always a plus here.

The Downs: It's long. Over 600 pages. This book takes a lot of interest in the subject to get through but good thing he makes it interesting.

Overall: A condensed form of this book should be put out and become mandatory reading for teachers and anyone potentially affected by globalization (read: everyone). Should be on everyone's shelves.

Verdict: A six pack of Tsingtao, a Chinese beer.

Weekend Round Up 8/18

Hey y'all. Little late on the weekend round up (like you were waiting for it) but I wanted to get the final pictures of the deck up. Basically the weekend was finishing up on a few projects that were held over the summer. We got the deck finished with installing the final outlet and put up our storm door. We only have to put some post caps up and do some landscaping (prob in the Spring) before we can say we are all the way finished but it's good now. Our hopes are that we can clean up and paint the garage and get that sealed in the fall. I'll have to check Fry's website and OSU's football schedule and maybe I'll have a tub-o-glorious party on a Friday night before a foosball game. Bonus beer to anyone who can count how many cats are in the pictures below: